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Having a sofa in the kitchen is not the adventure you'd think it would be. You'd think it would be all "I'm tired of cooking now, I'll have a nice sit down!" Especially because it's a sofa bed, so that has all the benefits you'd imagine (like a bed...). But it doesn't go like that. Firstly, it's on the other side of the kitchen table from the cooker, which means my first stop is to sit at the table (and doodle on the laptop; it's been a wonderful purchase). Secondly...people stay. Now this is fine for a limited period, but the issue with this house is that it is essentially one big room. All open plan. So if you sleep on our sofa bed, you essentially sleep in our kitchen, in our living room and in our bedroom. There is no privacy. This is even less delightful than it sounds. When not in use by guests it only serves as a receptacle for clean washing. Can't be bothered to carry washing upstairs? It's fine, leave it on the sofa! But it's not fine. In some ways I'm getting to be a functional adult. I work, I pay bills, I cook, I clean, I'm pursuing a childhood dream. But the laundry ridden sofa reminds me of the fact that deep down I am a scumbag.
On the childhood dream thing, I need to stop the jealousy. I don't get jealous of published authors (why would I? They've written books for me to read.) I get jealous of people in the same position as me, but maybe a bit further along. Yesterday it was some chick who'd won a short story competition, and I wished they'd chosen me. Which makes no sense, as I wasn't aware of the competition, didn't write anything, and didn't enter my nothing. Reminds me of that Futurama episode where they give the Oscar to the guy who wasn't nominated because he's Zoidberg's uncle. I suppose perhaps I'm jealous that they have things together more than me. I wish I'd got on with this sooner. Because I genuinely believe writing could make me happy.
However. I'm 1/3 of the way through my novel, with a good awareness of the major things that need editing (read: everything). Once I've finished it, because no, I won't be side tracked, I'm going to start entering some short story competitions. Live those dreams.
Whether I should reduce my working hours to live those dreams is something I'm still weighing up.